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You are what you eat… so look the part.  Valentines day is quickly approaching, and I’m not really down with all of the cliché things that come with it.  I like to put a twist on anything classic, and I get really sick of seeing everyone in red and black on V-Day.  Valentines day and chocolate go hand in hand, so why not celebrate by wearing your fave dessert.  This V-Day, I’m gonna have my cake… and wear it too.

 

This Shit Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S:

 Maxi Skirts

A banana is a food that nobody wants to look like, but a banana spit is a whole other story.  Banana split’s are perfect for sharing, and so is this look.  I mean seriously, have you ever seen such an exquisite fruit (and I’m not talking drag queens hunty)?

Jane Norman, Long Sleeved Tee $19 – Long-sleeved tees are superb.  You can get them in fancy fabrics and splurge a bit, or you can get a ton of cheapo’s… Either way, everyone needs long-sleeved tees.  You can mix and match different colors and bottoms to create a ton of looks.

SheInside, Cropped Faux Fur Vest $32 – A touch of fur is fabulous… faux rizzle.  Faux fur vests are an inexpensive way to add a pop of luxury to your closet.

River Island, Cream Lace Maxi $47 – Major.  I actually hate maxi styles (because I’m short and they look stupid on me), but I am obsessed with this skirt.  The shape is über flattering for all bods… big, small, short, or tall.  I love that it’s not too tight or too loose, and the lace overlay is sickening.  I’m bananas for this maxi.

Tillys, Glow Wedge $27 – When the temps rise, I typically wear only wedges.  Pumps are a pain in the ass when it’s hot… Ain’t nobody got time for that.  Wedges are easy to walk in, and they elongate your legs…. werq.

Frills & Company, Purse Lab $40 – Neapolitan circa 2013.

Wallis, Animal Print Ring $12 – You don’t need to pile on accessories when you’re getting down and dirty with fur + lace, you want to wear them… not have them wear you (there’s only so much you can werq at once).

  

Red Velvet If You Please:

 Red Velvet Cake

Red velvet cupcakes are adorable yet sexy at the same time.  A deep red hue is perfection on V-Day…  Everyone will want to eat you up.

Oasis, Victoriana Lace Shirt $24 – You know I love a tie-neck blouse.  The lacy texture and frilly tie resemble perfectly piped icing.  Not only does this look good with skirts, but it totes dresses up your go-to skinnies.

New Look, Skater Skirt $27 – A little bit flouncy, a little bit glam, and a whole lot sexy.  The shape of this skirt is trés chic, you can werq it at the office, a party, even a hot date.

GAP, Opaque Tights $12 – V-Day is usually chilly, so stay warm with opaque tights.  I think that tights actually make this look edgy… brown is unexpected.

Debenhams, Pointed Toe Pumps $40 – I love a cap-toe.  Gold adds a touch of luxury, and makes it easy to incorporate jewelry.

The Iconic, Fun Bead Clutch $36 – Envelope clutches are still trendy, and being able to fit your phone in your purse is nice.  The gold beading is unique, it’s like the pretty sprinkles that top festive cupcakes.

ROMWE, Cuff Bracelet $12 – Animal prints are sexy, and isn’t that what you want to be on Valentines Day?… This bangle was made for this look.  The gold edges make the entire outfit cohesive, while the brown in the print help blend the darker tights.

 

Chip In:

 Shift Dresses

There’s nothing in the world more comforting than a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie…. Everybody loves them.  Chips Ahoy don’t got nothin on you girrrl.

SheInside, Khaki Lapel Dress $35 – Shift dresses look stunning on everyone.  Since this print is thick and vertical, it actually makes you lose like fifteen pounds instantly.  I love the collar, sleeves, and the leather finish is badass… ideal for those of you that hate V-Day.

Merona, Opaque Tights $12 – You can never have enough tights.  They have the ability to transform any outfit, and you don’t have to expose your pasty or ashy legs .

Nine West, Sheryl Heels $50 – Mary Janes are magnifique.  Totally classic, always classy.

Forever 21, Metal Trim Crossbody $25 – You want all the attention on this beautimous dress, so opt for a smaller crossbody that stays out of the way.

Fantas Eye, Lindy Hop Sunglasses $22 – Cat Eye sunnies are G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

 

A Slice of Humble Pie:

A Line Dresses When I think of cherry pie, I think of a 1950’s housewife… I don’t know why, but I do. 50’s silhouettes are sweet as pie, and hot as hell when modernized correctly.

Modcloth, Hepcat Dress $50 – It doesn’t take much to make big impact, just a sickening pattern.  As with everything that I’ve picked out today, this dress werqs with all shapes and sizes.  The hemline hits at an ideal spot for every height, while the bow cinches the waist making you skinny.  This is a dress that can be rocked virtually anywhere… a museum (with tan flats), a date (with sexy stilettos), to grab a coffee (with a neutral wedge), and to werq (especially if you’re a teacher).

Worthington, Tracie Pumps $37 – A metallic cap-toe brings this dress from the 50’s, to this century.  I used to be against white shoes, but I’ve been playing around with them a lot lately.

ALDO, Yoshino Handbag $35 – This bag is extremely sleek, which is the total opposite of the dress.  Paula Abdul was right about one thing… opposites attract.

Betty Jackson, Smokey White Bracelet $19 – Silver and white are modern together.  Don’t mess with 1950’s perfection, just put a lil twist on it.

 

 

Serving Up Cheesecake:

Lace Dresses

Plain cheesecake can be boring, but put a berry on top and it’s decadent as hell.

BHS UK, Jasmine Lace Dress $16 – J’adore a lace dress.  I love the texture and the different looks that you can give with it.  It’s easy to make this dress look sweet, sassy, profesh, or tough… if it’s versatile enough, it’s a must!

Oasis, Ponte Jacket $32 – This red blazer is that rich little strawberry on top of your cheesecake.  A blazer brings structure and sophistication to a demure lace dress.

Max & Chloe, Gold Teardrop Necklace $29 – Sheer Eleganza.  When werqing with textures, you should keep accessories simple… but I don’t do simple.  A bold statement necklace werqs here, because the stones and the dress are the same shade.  At first glance, you only see the gold… it’s like a hidden picture.

Sammydress, Chunky Heel Pumps $19.37 – Tone down the color and texture with a neutral shoe.  The straps on these pumps keep the round toe from being a bore.

Windsor, Pyramid TrimTote  $43 – Since the blazer is serving up polish, a slouchy bag looks effortless… not sloppy.

You should make a date this V-Day… with a lavish bottle of wine, an extravagant dessert, and a sickening ensemble.

Frock You*

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