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I don’t have a fun title today… sorry.  Recently (the past 4 months), I’ve been less than thrilled (completely disgusted) with Birchbox.  I don’t think the products were even that bad, I’m just picky and bitchy.  How did Birchbox do this month?

BirchboxWell, when I saw the box I was excited.  I happen to enjoy Women’s Health magazine.  However, I was little scared that there would be like granola and zero calorie water flavor packets in here.  Unless it’s an edible arrangement, I hate food in the mail.  When I opened was I greeted with weird recipes?

No!  Here’s the breakdown…

1.  Nexxus, Youth Renewal Rejuvenating Elixir

NexxusThe packaging was fancy and sleek, but the sample size was soooo little.  This elixir said to use 3-4 drops on wet hair… and the dropper could only hold one drop, so that was a pain in the ass.  The texture was similar to a leave in conditioner.  It didn’t really smell like anything, and I’m not sure if it helped my hair at all.  I think you may have to use it a few times before seeing results.  I didn’t like this, but I didn’t dislike it either… and what that means is, I’ll use the rest of it but I won’t be purchasing.

2.  Simple, Revitalizing Eye Roll On

Eye RollerThis was my Birchbox extra, and it’s the best one I’ve ever received.  I actually just bought this from Target like two weeks ago, and I love it.  I use this eye roller every morning, and I can actually see results.  Not only are my puffs reduced, but the cool rollerball feels really good on my eyes.  I like this roller better than most because you can squeeze it to make more product come out, and that also helps when you’re running low.  Now I won’t have to buy another one when I run out… Werq.

3.  Kiehl’s, Powerful-Strength Line Reducing Concentrate

Kiehl'sAnother extremely small sample.  I was sad at first because this product is for reducing wrinkles, and I’m not wrinkly.  I decided to give it a try anyway, and I used it instead of my usual moisturizer before bed.  As soon as I put this on my face, I panicked.  This shizz turned soo hot the second it hit my skin.  My face was burning up for a hot minute.  The label didn’t give me a burning face warning, but after I realized my skin wasn’t on fire, I kind of liked it.  The texture of this lotion was actually really gross… it was like curdled milk.  Judging from the burning sensation on my face, I assume that this product does actually werq, but I’d rather get Botox.

4.  LAFCO, Fleurs de Baies Bath Soap

SoapI despise bar soap.  It makes me gag.  It gets ugly when you reuse it, it leaves nasty soap scum in your bathroom, and I feel like it doesn’t actually clean your skin.  This smelled okay, like a potpourri that you would find at Pier 1.  It’s not something that I would like to smell like on a daily basis, maybe if I was eighty I’d like it better.  In fact, I’m not even going to try this.  I’m in a serious relationship with shower gel, and I would never cheat on it.

5.  Mirenesse, Glossy Kiss Lipstick In Perfect Kiss

MirenesseThis product made the whole box worth it.  Not only was this a lip pencil, but you could use it as a cheek stain too… I love a multitasking product.  J’adore the color, it’s a nice coral with little bits of gold shimmer in it.  This is an ideal shade for summer, it looks sickening paired with big sunnies.  The shade also looks natural when blended on your cheeks.  I think this lipstick smells delightful too, like vanilla… but maybe I’m just trippin.  I would actually buy this, it’s an amazing product.

Now, take a hint…

UHaulCan you guess what I’m not DIY-ing this week?  If you don’t get this hint… you’re probably an idiot.

Frock On*