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Here’s my take on current events this week… in two sent(ence)s.

Gwynnie P Is The Most Beautiful Person… According To People Magazine

gwyneth paltrowYeah her bod’s sick, but she’s not likeable.  I find her to be an odd choice, considering I haven’t seen her on anything since Glee… Hillary Clinton was totally robbed.

Rob Kardashian’s Disappearing Act

Rob Kardashian

If you’re going to have a breakdown, don’t do it on air with Ryan Seacrest (no matter what Mommy says).  When too much pizza has caused your package to shrink, it’s time for a cleanse hunty.

Buckwild Stars Sex Tape Ordered To Be Destroyed

BuckwildWhat the hell West Virginia, why would you destroy this gem?  Nothing sounds hotter to me than “redneck sex”, and that Jessie (yes, that’s the correct spelling) Johnson is such a hunk.

Marky Mark’s Willing To Reunite With The Funky Bunch, For Boston

Marky Mark And The Funky BunchI’m getting really good vibrations about this.  I can only pray for the Funky Bunch and Boston to cooperate, J’adore Marky Mark.

Billy Ray’s New Look

Billy RayBilly Ray, the Bieber was sooo 4 years ago… but it’s werqin for you.  Maybe next time you can go a few inches shorter, you’re more into your hair than Uncle Jesse.

J Love’s Daytime TV Cleave

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - The Ellen DeGeneres ShowCan I get a dicky up in here?  But seriously, her breasts weave is perfection.

I was fairly bored with the news this week, hopefully Amanda Bynes will do something silly next week.

Frock On*