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Here’s my take on this weeks current events… in two sent(ence)s.

Lindsay Lohan Leaves Rehab… And Checks Into Another

Lindsay LohanHooray, Linds is 30 days sober… time to ruin that with Adderall.  Rehab in Malibu is like a vacation, I better start working on my addiction.

Princess Kate’s Final Pregnant Outfit

Kate MiddyThe only time prego looks better, is when it’s on my pasta.  Black, white, and chic all over.

Chad Johnson’s Anal Action

Chad JohnsonI don’t blame him, that attorney is irresistible.  Butt seriously, jail for an ass slap… that judge is just trying to get famous.

Gaga As A Bridesmaid

Gaga Bridesmaid

Gaga actually looks sickening.  I just need to know if she’s werqin a wig, weave, or if it’s real.

Miley’s Ugly Too

Amanda Bynes and Miley CyrusWow Mandy, Miley’s not the ugly one here.  Ugly is also getting old, I think it’s time to move onto ratchet or gross.

Gone With The Wind Homeless?

Kenya MooreDo you mean to tell me that “Stallion Booty” didn’t bring home the bacon?  Luckily for Kenya, you can still lose your house and star in the Housewives franchise.

How bout that A lister Rachel Uchitel’s nasty divorce, I know we’ve all missed her.

Frock Hard*