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I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?… remember that quote from 10 Things I Hate About You.  This month, I found out the hard way that you can indeed just be whelmed.


Whelmed is exactly how I felt about my Birchbox.  It was just ehhhh.  I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.  My July Birchbox was sad, boring, and everything was gone in a day… but I did have a fabulous shower courtesy of my Birchbox’s contents.  Here’s what I got:

DDF, Acne Control Treatment: Full Size $44


Lez be honest, my skin is flawless hunty.  Just kidding!  But seriously, I’ve never had any acne issues… so I didn’t even try this shizz.  I was scared it would burn my face, or turn me into a tomato.  It was a pretty decent size for a facial sample, but I just don’t dabble in acne products.  This was just a waste of a sample for me, and I was bummed.  Maybe one day I’ll use this… if I’m wasted and fall asleep with my face in a greasy pizza.

Kerastase, Bain Chroma Riche + Masque Chroma Riche (say what?): Full Size $38 – $61


I know that this is a high-end line, but I wasn’t the slightest bit impressed.  I didn’t like the lack of lather in the shampoo, but maybe there just wasn’t enough for my liking (I use wayyy too much shamp and condish).  I know this sounds ridic, but I freakin hate when shampoo and conditioner samples come in little packets… I can never open them with wet hands, and I have to get out of the shower and use something weird like cuticle scissors to open them.  After the shampoo, I was excited to try the masque… until I realized it sucked.  I felt like this masque didn’t moisturize my hair at all, and I left it on for like twenty minutes.  When I rinsed it out, my hair was not smooth or soft.  In fact, my hair was a tangled mess and I would’ve been better off using my regular Organix conditioner.  Maybe these products are amazing, but it’s hard to judge when you have longer hair and you’re given a dime sized amount to try.

WEI, Golden Root Purifying Mud Mask: Full Size $42

Mud Mask

Mud masks are a new obsession of mine, but you must be on crack if you’re considering paying $42 for this.  This was actually one of my least favorite mud masks that I’ve ever used.  I think it was unscented, it didn’t make my face tingle, and it looked like a k-cup.  Yes, my skin felt soft afterwards… but this mask ain’t got shit on Target’s $1 mask packets (the witch hazel + tea tree one is the bomb).  Of course, it made my shower good… but it could have been better.  I was also turned off by the k-cup resemblance.

Pureminerals, CC Cream: Full Size $38

CC Cream

This was def the highlight of my Birchbox.  J’adore a cream with squared initials… BB, CC, DD, EE, whatevs.  Birchbox does carry some amazing facial makeup, so I had high expectations.  This CC cream is a little thick for me, but it blends easily, and the color of my face is totally even.  I really like the way that this makes my skin look.  The sample size was trés small, if I’m lucky I’ll get 4-5 uses out of it.  This was a very good pick, I approve.

WEI, Pomegranate Buffing Beads: Full Size $20

Buffing Beads

This was my Birchbox extra, and I know it’s rude to complain about something that’s technically a gift… but I’m going to.  This extra was the worst.  I prefer the pen that I got a few boxes ago.  I thought that this was going to be like a body scrub, and I was all ready to use it, and then I read the directions.  You have to mix this packet with a quarter size amount of your daily cleanser.  Really?  How the hell am I supposed to mix that up in the shower.  I ended up just sprinkling it on myself, and then using body wash.  These beads had the same consistency as a pixie stick, I would certainly not call them beads.  It wasn’t horrible, but I don’t get down with mix and matching in the shower.  Thanks Birchbox, but I’ll stick with my pre-mixed salt scrubs.

The Verdict

My Birchbox wasn’t that bad… but here’s a few things that I would’ve rather bought for $10.

  • 8 Que Bella mud masks from Target
  • 3 EOS chapstick balls
  • 2 Skinny Vanilla Lattes from Starbucks
  • A burrito bowl + guac from Chipotle
  • 1 Martini with a lemon twist
  • 1 seven pack of Dingo bones + a bag of dog treats… to make my pugs quiet
  • 5 E.L.F. lip crayons
  • A partridge in a pear tree

I’m hoping the August box is better.  I mean, my dogs had more fun with this one…


What did you get in your Birchbox?

Frock That*