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I’m shocked that my Birchbox made it here in the snow…


No tea no shade USPS, but my mail lady tends to return packages to the sender if the weather is shitty… I’m dead freaking serious.  Whatevs, my Birchbox made it, and here’s what I got.

Hayadi, Pure Happy Smooth

Winter Hair

I like the bottle, it’s cute, clean, and modern.  However, I’m kind of over keratin infusion.  Everything is infused with keratin now, and sometimes I find it greasy.  I don’t ever use styling lotion, I’m not even sure if I’ve ever tried it before.  I like my hair to be big and fake messy, not sleek and smooth.  I ended up trying it out because I didn’t feel like doing my hair.  The lotion made my hair really shiny, and showed my fly aways who’s boss.  I wouldn’t use this regularly, but it’s nice to have for updos and topknots.

Benta Berry, G-1 Exfoliating Facial Cleanser

Winter Skin

This is soooo little for a cleanser sample, so I thought it had to be some sort of amazing french product or something.  If it is, I’m not sold.  I love an exfoliator, but I didn’t find anything special about this.  It smelled good, it did its job, but for the same price I’d rather buy Neutrogena Clean + Clear exfoliating cleanser, and two packs of Say Yes To Tomatoes face wipes.  I like the packaging more than the product.

Dr. Lipp, Original Nipple Balm for Lips

Winter Lips

Really?  I typically don’t want to think about breastfeeding moms when applying my lip balm.  I don’t understand why this couldn’t just be called balm for lips, not nips.  I don’t like the way this balm looks and it’s hard to squeeze out of the tube, but it’s extraordinarily moisturizing.  A little goes a long way.  Decent size, nice packaging, but I hate the nipple reference.  It would be like if KY made something similar to Vaseline, would they say “KY Jelly Original Anal Lube for Dry Knees”… no, they wouldn’t.

FusionBeauty, LashFusion XL


This mascara is made up with a “slightly drier formula”… maybe if slightly means completely dry.  I didn’t like it, I felt like I was using an empty mascara tube and trying to make it work.  The wand was thick and clumpy.  When I tried the mascara, it did end up giving a nice natural look.  Unfortunately, I’m a drama queen and don’t mess with natural lashes (unless I just woke up and am eating breakfast).

Emily’s Chocolates, Milk Chocolate Fortune Cookie

Healthy Snack

I actually hate chinese food, so I would never eat a fortune cookie.  But this one looked really sexy.  I liked the packaging, and I was hungry.  It was super delish, and only 70 calories.  These fortune cookies would make an awesome host/hostess gift.  They’re unique, they look luxurious, and they taste good.

The Verdict

Disappointed.  All of the products were teeny tiny, and I was expecting gold glamorous makeup for NYE… or red/green nail polish for Christmas (I know everybody doesn’t celebrate Xmas, but I do).  I would rather spend $10 on the following:

  • Broccoli and cheese soup in a bread bowl + a large green tea from Panera.
  • A new Venus razor set for my shower (you know the one that comes with a shower sticky and 2 blades).
  • Paying a small neighborhood child to shovel and salt my driveway.
  • 10 lottery tickets.

Which makes me wonder…

Tell me what to do, I’ll listen.

In other news, I’ve been racking up some Secret Rewards from Victoria’s Secret.

Victorias Secret Promo Codes

I’ve already used two or three, and given some away, but I still have a few cards that I’m not going to use.  So, here’s two secret rewards for whoever wants to use them.

VS Promo Code

I’m a big loser and never get more than $10 on my rewards…

VS Secret Rewards

If there’s more than $10 on one of these… I’ll probably hate you.

Rock Out With Your Frock Out*